25th April, 2017

We are in the second month of Autumn and it is only now that the cooler weather is coming in.  There have been days of crisp mornings and warm days with the sun shining high up in the blue sky.  I love this part of the year when the bite of hot summer days has disappeared, leaving behind the perfect Autumn weather.

Along with the change of seasons came the end of Daylight Savings.  It is a relief when time goes back to what it should be, or was.  I feel more in sync (not sure what with) and it is easier for me to get up in the morning.

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A while ago I started leaving work one hour earlier so that I could do a 5.00 pm CrossFit class rather than the 6.00 pm one.  This way I was home by 6.30pm instead of 7.30pm.  It has made a big difference to my evenings and my level of tiredness.  Plus, it gets me away from the office and forces me to work more efficiently as I know that certain things needs to be done before I leave the office.   It took a while for me to make the decision to leave earlier.  I thought about it for a while and then one day I just decided that it was the right thing for me.  It appears that CrossFit has become a more important part of my life than work.  Who would have thought that would be possible.  It seems that I am finally placing more importance on the things I like to do rather than the things I feel obliged to do.  That has been a very long time coming.

Like a lot of people I just would rather not work.  At home I whinge about work, not often but often enough for it to have gone from commenting about work to whinging about it.  It is stressful, it is boring, it is like being on the same farm every day with all the animals running amok. I have been there for years.  My husband says that I should leave and find something else to do.  But the truth is that I am sick of work.  I just want to roll around the house and do what ever I want, never answer to anyone, sleep in, walk my dog, draw, go to CrossFit and not much else.  So it would not matter if I left my work and worked for another company, I just don’t want to work.  I feel like a five year old who has to go to school everyday and doesn’t want to.

Still, knowing me, I would find being home all the time a bit boring after a while as I like to be doing things and more than that, I like to do things and get paid for it.  Which is what work is.  When I feel like this it generally means that I need an extended break.  Not just a long weekend, but a week or so.  Although, we have just had three four day weeks in a row with Easter public holidays and also Anzac Day which is also a public holiday.

So, with the possibility of taking a week or so off I can talk about a new interest that my husband and I will be taking up soon.  Metal detecting.  Doesn’t that sound like fun! It was my husband who suggested it and I thought it sounded like fun.  My son said that K and I are now officially old people.  Metal detecting is the hobby for older persons.  I am sure he will eat his words when I unearth a gold nugget of epic proportions!  However, it is more likely I will find random bits of metal nothings. It is the search and possible amazing find that is the exciting part.

I am sure you have noticed that there are things happening around the world that are very unsettling,  Not that long ago I would have been so overwhelmed and upset by the way the world is going.  Now, not so much.  When I read that newspaper there was talk of a possible war I thought ‘hmmm, sounds a bit grim. I wonder if my brother has finished off the laundry cupboard today’ and that was about it.  The level of importance I placed on worldwide news has reached almost zero status.

When did that happen?  That ‘I don’t give a fuck anymore’ mindset?

I can only care what I can do something about, all the rest is just external shit and it is not worth thinking about.

Have you changed your thoughts about life, the world and how things seem so unstable?

lc x

 

2 thoughts on “25th April, 2017

  1. When I was a kid, my younger brother got a metal detector for Christmas and spent many hours finding nails, cans and other scrap metal. Sometimes I followed him around but I can’t recall anything that he ever found that impressed me. It was kind of like watching somebody fish – very boring stuff.

    It sounds like you are burnt out in your job (just as I was for a very long time). Even if you aren’t ready to make a change now, it might help to start working on an exit plan. Once I made up my mind about what I wanted to do and how to make it happen, it became much easier to go to that miserable job every day. Meaningful work is so much more than a paycheck. If somebody had tried to convince me of that 5 years ago, I would have said he was crazy.

    Liked by 1 person

    • My son told me that if we do metal detecting on the beach we are officially old and weird. He even gave a run down on what I could wear to complete the look.

      Yes, I think you are right. I am burnt out and I do need to work on an exit plan. The only problem is that I don’t know what I want to do. I think about it all the time and have no answer. Yet.

      Like

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