Monday 13th March 2017

grey bunny.jpg

This is a photo of some slippers that I want to buy.  I have never owned a pair of slippers or a bathrobe.  For me, getting out of bed and schlepping around in a bathrobe and slippers is not appealing at all.  It just seems that if I had those two items I would most likely spend all day in them.

I especially like the white slippers but imagine that they would get dirty very easily.

white bunny.jpg

Well, after a very nice time being stable, I relapsed.  It started with anxiety. Not much at first, but then it exploded into regular panic attacks, high level agitation and inability to sleep.  I am in day twelve of rapid cycling and it is a bit stressful.  At my last psych visit we decided to break my Seroquel in half and take it at night to bring the mood down and try to get my sleep pattern back in order.

Normally I take 25mg of Seroquel on an “as need” basis.  So, I might take it over three consecutive nights to get back on track and stop a hypomanic stage before it escalates.  The last thing I want is an upwards mood being followed by a crushing depressed phase.  The down phase is always much longer than the up stage.  Anyway, I take the 25 mg without any issues.  It is not a slow release version so I just get a solid sleep and don’t have any after effects the next day.  Easy.

However, I had a very unpleasant reaction to the Seroquel when I cut it in half and only took 12.5 mg on Thursday night.  It knocked me out like a light and I slept nine hours without waking.  In the morning I could barely get out of bed.  I went to work in without ironing my dress (it was very wrinkled), left my mobile at home and forgot to pick up some things on the way to work.  My ears were feeling pressurised all day and when anyone spoke to me they felt even worse.  For the whole day I felt disoriented and extremely fatigued.  By the time I got home after work I was washed out.

When I got home I just sat down on a chair in my bedroom and tried to collect my thoughts and get back to a more “normal” mindset.  I then got up and just flaked out lengthways on the bed and fell into a deep sleep.  It wasn’t until 7.30pm that I started to feel okay.

I wondered if perhaps I had some weird virus but decided to not take the Seroquel that night as I had CrossFit the next morning.  It would have been folly to try to exercise if I awoke the next morning feeling the same way as I did on that day.

As expected I woke up feeling great, went to CrossFit and just enjoyed the Saturday as per usual.  That night I took the Seroquel to see if Sunday was going to be a repeat of Friday.  I took it at 7.00pm and by 9.00pm I was barely able to speak with tiredness and confusion.  Went to bed at 10.15 pm and was out for the count within minutes.  I slept through until 8.45 am and then lay in bed until I had energy to get up.

The ear pain was back with a vengeance which just made the whole day a very disappointing one.  Again, the confusion, over tiredness and anxiety ruined the day for me.  At 7.30 pm I picked up.

So, I am at a loss as to why, when I halved a dose, the side effects were so violent.  Perhaps it was something to do with the breaking of the tablet in half.  Who knows.  All I know is that I am not taking it again.

They do say the Bipolar is a moving target and it is to be expected that a relapse will happen for some random reason. In this case I wonder if the change from Summer to Autumn is the culprit.

Whatever it may be, I will just muddle through it and hopefully get back to being okay quickly.

And to not spend money, the last time I had a hypomanic episode I bought thirty mens hankies.


lc x


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