I went to my brother’s house today to do some bookwork.
He and I get on well but he is inclined to push my buttons with some of his comments. I know I have gone on about this in my previous blog but the change is that I have a different approach to it these days. I no longer feel the need to be defensive.
The meaning is of the word creativity is:
- relating to or involving the use of the imagination or original ideas to create something. “change unleashes people’s creative energy”.
I have always been creative. Writing, drawing, painting. Even my home is that of a creative person. I am neither good nor bad at what I do but were you to ask anyone who knows me “is Linda creative” they would say yes. It is a fundamental part of who I am.
Today I thought a lot about the few paragraphs that I wrote yesterday. Mainly about the comment I made how there is no real information about how life is for people who have bipolar after they get a handle on some stability. It is something that I think about often.
I know that I have spoken about my own depression and bipolar a lot in my previous blog but I now feel the need to deconstruct everything to help me reconcile myself to the person that I feel I am these days.
It’s almost two weeks since I posted. I started writing tonight and after a few paragraphs I decided that I had nothing to say and that even if I did it is as though I no longer know how to say it.
So I deleted those paragraphs.
And now I am starting again.
I am as unenthused about life as I was in the last post, possibly worse. I’ve no doubt that my medication and being stable is a contributing factor to my indifference. It is having a significant impact on me as I bring it up at one point in time every therapy session. I tell the psych that I struggle with feeling so ‘flat’ to which he replies ‘you mean normal?’. No, I don’t mean ‘normal’. If every neurotypical person felt the way I do then nothing would ever happen in the world.