I was a bit of a bitch today. To both my son and husband. I feel quite guilty about it but I am using the argument that it hardly ever happens and if it does happen it does not mean that I am morphing into my father. Which, incidentally, is one of my greatest fears. I am not perfect, only human.
Anyway, I had bought a lamp via Ebay and had to go and pick it up in a suburb about an hour away from where I live.
I cannot express to you how appalling my map reading skills are. I read maps upside down, back to front and inside out. If I have instructions given to me they enter my right ear and exit my left ear. It is a classic case of “I see your mouth move but all I hear is blah, blah, blah”. It is all made worse by the issue I have with my left and right. If you ask me to raise my left hand I have to say to myself “hmmm, left, the opposite of the hand I use the most” or something along those lines.
In 1994 when my husband and I went overseas we had the worst arguments about my map reading. One argument ended when I hit my husband over the head with a giant road atlas as we tried to make out way out of Bath and onto London. It was not until last year’s trip that he apologised to me for being so unsympathetic about what was obviously a problem I could not resolve. The fact remains, I could not find my way out of a paper bag without some level of stress.
So, last night my husband sat down with me with the street directory and outlined which way to go. I studied it closely and felt confident I would have no trouble getting there.
The is, of course, until I missed the sign that pointed the turn off I was meant to take.
So, naturally, as I turned left into nowhere land at the end of the freeway, a mobile phone call was made to my husband. It was my son who was the go between as far as the conversation went. After stopping by the side of the road I then spoke to K who, despite his efforts to help me, was rewarded with a screech and me hanging up the phone.
Once back on the freeway my husband called again and my son answered the phone. Husband offered to meet up with me and show me where to go. However, the conversation was translated by my son as “Dad is twenty minutes away so can he come and pick me up and you can go on your own….”. Chinese whispers starting here.
Without going into too much detail of the content of the heated conversation, it culminated with me ending up on a newly built freeway which put me out of my comfort zone and resulted in another hanging up of mobile phone.
By this stage I was totally out of control, and for me, that is a rare and horrible place to be. I yelled at my son. Whined about life. Said the “F” – spelt it out actually, did not say it in full. Got lost once more. Said I wished I was not married. Also said that if I fell off the face of the earth the only thing that they would miss would be my laundry efforts.
Also said that from now on I will ask nobody to help me ever and would do things on my own.
To which my son replied, “Mum, nobody can be that free. We all need each other”.
Sigh, nothing like a child to say the right thing. I calmed down. We both kept quiet and found the place where the lamp had to be picked up from.
I had to eat some humble pie when I got home.
It was this trip today that made me realise that I am the perfect candidate for a GPS thing in the car. So I went to the shop to have a look at one and get some information on them.
Unfortunately I was tempted instead by the lure of an iPod. The only one I have is a teeny one for jogging. That is my justification.
Everyone is happy in the house.
As for the lamp. It was made in the 1920’s roughly. The base is made from the root of a tree and has been fashioned to have a series of steps up to a lighthouse. I have wanted one of these for many, many years.
I think it was worth the stress of today to tell you the truth.
But I won’t let them know that….