This Sprout Is Out

I love to eat sprouts. Bean sprouts, chick pea sprouts, lentil sprouts and any other little sprouty thing you could imagine.

I buy a big tub of them and eat them until they are all gone. Forget about putting them in a salad, I eat them like they are salted nuts. Their crunchiness and fresh green flavour is addictive and I munch them mindlessly.

However, there is one sprout you will never see in my house, let alone my sandwich.

Alfalfa sprouts. They disgust me, and with good reason. In fact, for two good reasons.

The first reason was brought to my son’s attention yesterday.

We were watching television and an advertisement came on television showing a young girl making a salad sandwich to eat. The last salad item she put on the sandwich was a big handful of alfalfa sprouts. My son asked what that was.

“Alfalfa sprouts”, I told him.

“Is that what you eat?” he asked me.

“Nope, and never will you see me eat those disgusting things”, I replied.

“Why not?” he asked.

“I am not telling you because it is for a very childish reason I don’t eat them”, I informed him.

He would not take no for an answer and pestered me until I relented. Might as well inform him.

“I don’t eat alfalfa sprouts because they look like green pubic hair and I am not having that in my sandwich, in my salad or as a snack for that very reason”, I told him. He almost fell off the couch laughing.

My husband told me off for telling my son such a thing. It was not right to put that idea in his head.

Yeah, yeah I said.

Lucky I did not tell him the second reason I never eat alfalfa sprouts.

I am almost embarrassed to confess this reason for not munching something that is super healthy (even though it looks like green pubic hair).

But, here goes. I think that alfalfa sprouts smell like sperm. There, I said it. And I know I am not the only one who thinks that.

Sperm, in the right situation is fine and dandy by the way, in case you think I may be spermaphobic or something.

This is a very unfortunate post, but I am leaving it up anyway.


10 thoughts on “This Sprout Is Out

  1. LMAO!!! This is not an unfortunate post, this is a GREAT post!!!

    I can’t think of two better reasons to avoid eating something!!

    I never knew what sperm smelled like.

    Now I’ll have to smell some alfalfa to find out. Because I doubt I’ll get an opportunity to smell sperm any time soon. Heh.

    I did have two first dates this weekend, though. No sperm sniffing on either of them though. They will simply have to wait till I’m ready.

    This was a great post. Loved it.


  2. Deborah: The two together would be very, very unappealing on a sandwich.

    Karen: Maybe I have a heightened sense of smell!

    You have to make that a rule for any prospective man – no sperm sniffing on the first date. I mean, you need to get these sorts of things sorted straight away.

    Ray: Nope, not a good idea.


  3. I just got a jimmy johns veggie sandwich with sprouts (my usual). I had to google “sprouts smell like semen” to make sure I'm not the only one. With that said I still think they are yummy and I'll keep getting them on my veggie sandwich.


  4. Well, Androgyn E, that's pretty funny. I still haven't eaten them since this post but maybe I will lighten up a bit and give them a try. They are nice on a sandwich once you get past that thought.


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