Before I met my husband, I did have a few boyfriends here and there. Most I won’t mention but some are worthy of a mention.
Ross was not a boyfriend as such, he was the boy you had between boyfriend’s I suppose.
When I was around 19 or 20 I was working for my parents. They had a furniture factory and they also had a furniture shop. I was working in the shop for a while, thankfully away from the parental influence. We also sold lots of second hand tat along with the furniture. The shop needed to have sign writing done and I went through the yellow pages and found a local sign writer. I called him up and organised a time to come over and go through what needed to be done.
When he arrived I could not help but notice the irrefutable fact that he was handsome. Not in that classic Hollywood handsome way. He had a look. The look that some men have that bypasses any logical brain matter and goes straight to the core of human sexual attraction. It was not leery or predatory. It was downright delicious.
He ended up doing the sign writing and we established a nice friendship. After a few months of business dealings, Ross called me up at my flat one night and asked me out for dinner. Unfortunately, only that very afternoon, I had accepted an invitation from a customer we had sold furniture to and had to decline Ross’s offer. Interestingly enough, the person I did end up going out with was a complete and utter prick who had a significantly negative impact on my life for a number of years. Talk about making bad choices – but that is another story.
Anyhow, over the years Ross and I would still chat and catch up either for a hello or for some more sign writing needed when a new store opened. He told me, years later, that when he met me for the first time at the shop he went home and told his mother that he had met the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. I laughed when I heard that, for I certainly did not think of myself as that.
When I broke up with the “prick” and was single I went out with Ross for a short while, but he was not someone that I felt would be the ideal partner. You see, Ross had a weakness and that weakness was the female species. One time he was chatting to my mother and she was laughing away in a rather flirty manner. Intrigued by the banter that went on between my mother and Ross, I later asked him if he liked older women. “Linda, ” he said, looking me straight in the eye, “I love ALL women”. And he did. He loved them and, as a result of that interest, none of his relationships lasted very long.
When I was 23 I met the man who would become my husband, but I kept catching up with Ross for a hello.
Apart from sign writing he was a keen artist. Often I think that an artist goes into the field of sign writing otherwise they may starve for lack of money. One time he had an exhibition and he invited my husband and I to the opening. When I arrived I could see all of his ex girlfriends and also his many female friends. I made a comment to K that I could bet that every female in this room would have shared a bed with Ross. I am able to confirm that the comment was not appreciated as I was included amongst the bevy of girls.
Eventually contact between Ross and myself drifted. Once a female gets married, a husband prefers male friends to be removed from the picture. It is a way of clearing out any competition I suppose. I personally have never asked my husband to cease contact with his ex girlfriends, so I am guessing that men are a bit insecure and inclined to be a little jealous. But I am digressing here.
A few years ago, when my son was about four years old, I drove past Ross’s home and saw him out the front. I stopped the car and got out and said hello. He was very pleased to see me and invited my son and I in for a cold drink.
He had changed in the way that people change as age creeps up on them. Now in his 40’s, he had put on weight, his hair had thinned and lines of time had crept in. Still smoking and obviously having a regular drink showed up in the puffiness under his eyes. But handsome he was, albeit an older version of handsome. His charming smile and complete attention to my son and I reminded me of his absolute male appeal.
I noticed that he was still living on his own and asked him if there were any women in his life, or more specifically, one special woman.
“Well, I hate to admit this but I just cannot seem to settle down. I don’t know, the whole chase is so exciting that anything after that is boring. I just love women too much and I certainly won’t ever be able to find one who wants to settle down, have children and also allow me to have a few affairs,” he admitted rather shamefacedly.
I had to laugh at his admission. Talk about wanting his cake and eating it too. But I actually felt for him as he would have made a very good husband, even if a bit of a wayward one. A true artist, finding beauty everywhere and wanting to experience it all. Not everyone could live that that ideal.
So, we said goodbye to each other and I have not seen him since. I wonder if he managed to end the chase with something more fulfilling. Although, what is fulfilling to one person may not be to another, but I did sense that he did have an underlying issue with it. He kept making mention of how happy his parents marriage had been.
Well, no matter, just made me think of choices we make and whether or not we may wonder about them years later. Ultimately, I guess that the road ends up taking you where ever you are meant to be. Just that the choices we make will decide whether the journey will be rocky or not.
Might make it easier if it was sign written…..