Back Handed Compliments

You know what a back handed compliment is?
Click on that link for an explanation.
I am sure we have had them at one time or another in life.
A couple I recall are:
  • You are a big healthy girl (thanks Robbie, that made me feel great at 16 years old)
  • You are not fat, just womanly…….(huh?)
  • You are not fat, you are cuddly….(huh?)
  • You are not fat, you are voluptuous….(oh, okay, I get it now)
  • I don’t like skinny women, I like them more like you….(thanks dear husband)
  • You have a big cheesy smile….(errrr….okay)
  • Even though you are old enough to be my mother, can I give you a hug…(an apprentice said this to me at a Christmas party one year)

Today I had another one.

Before I go into the detail, I want to clarify something. I am happy being 44. Don’t want to be any different to what I am. Just do not need anyone holding up the number 44 flash card too often.

I am in the car park of Bunnings Hardware and making my way out when a van turns near me and, as he looks a little too close for comfort, I manoeuvre my car out the way slightly. His window is open and he stops and the following conversation takes place:

“Hey love, don’t worry, I won’t hit your car, I am a nice guy”, he calls out to me from his open window which is next to my open window, only slightly higher up.

“Oh, that is okay, I was just being careful”, I politely replied with a pleasant smile.

“If I hit your car you would have to give me your phone number”, he says with a smirk. I cannot move ahead with my car as there is one in front.

“I see. That is one way to get someones phone number I suppose”, I am tempted to shut my window but that would be rude.

“So, you up for a drink then?” he asks.

“No thanks”, I start laughing with disbelief. You see, he is about 25 years old.

“Come on. Say yes”, he leans slightly out of the window.

“No, really, thanks but no thanks”, I say very nicely and start to put my car in first gear to move on. Personally I feel rather flattered. He is quite a bit younger than me. He probably thinks I am younger than I really am.

Then he says………………”Go on love, you look like you could use a Toy Boy“.

Then I drive off, kind of laughing. After a few seconds the laughter stops and I realise I am actually a bit offended.

Did he mean I looked like some old broad who needed a shag?

Or some cougar on the prowl at the Bunnings car park.

I have decided to take the “I am flattered” stance on this one. Let’s face it, the older you get, the fewer the wolf whistles. In fact, when I was young I complained to my mother about men checking me out and whistling. She said to me I should enjoy it because one day it will stop.




18 thoughts on “Back Handed Compliments

  1. Oh he did not say “Toy-Boy”!I get lots of back handed compliments too.My Boss; “Thats an imaginative way of looking at things”My Boyfriend; “Shall I pick up normal Coke or Diet?”Don’t you love them? xx


  2. You really are beautiful, so I am sure he meant the best. But yes, my favorite was from my boyfriend.“I used to always date the video chick kinda girls, but you are a good girl.” (as in not a video chick?)


  3. He was just mad that a hip looking chick like you wouldn’t take him up on his offer!I once worked somewhere and a customer got angry at me at yelled “Well, you look like you’re 40!” I didn’t tell her I was 41.What a laugh.


  4. Oh, I wish!!! It’s been a long time since anyone’s given me the once over. Gone are the days.Backhanded compliment? How about this? My cousin, upon hearing one of my poems was published in a national newspaper: “Oh, isn’t that cute.” Grrrr.Kat


  5. Somehow I sense that I should tread lightly on any comment here; but for starters, I’d probably just take it as a compliment from a childish boy (not man). You are neither an old broad nor a cougar, all your dear readers know that! At least you don’t get hit on by members of the same sex whilst waiting at bus stops (I mean, ’tis fine if both folk were on the same side of the fence, but…) That’s what I get occasionally here in San Francisco… You were hit on by a younger guy, I’d leave it at that. (Plus FYI, up here in the States, we call it a “Boy Toy”. Those silly Brits…


  6. Elise: How can you not love them!!!Skittle: Well, what does that say about the poor video chicks – they must have a reputation. At least you are a good girl though….Jennifer: The wolf whistles are few and far between these days – so I need to enjoy the attention while I can.


  7. Kat: How cute of him to say that! Cute – something about that word…. Masa: Oh, well, being hit on by a guy could mean that you are well groomed and handsome. Any attention is good attention, no matter from where it comes. Boy Toy – sounds like something one keeps in the bedroom wardrobe. Nancy: Oh, yes, now that is an expression I did not think of. Well, I suppose it did make my day to be asked out for drinks by a guy old enough to be my son….?


  8. That was funny and sweet.My sister got a backhanded compliment the other day. She’s 50 and someone asked her if she was pregnant! She wasn’t sure weather to be mad because she’s gained some weight or happy that someone thinks she young enough to reproduce yet.I told her to kick them and say ‘thank you!’.MILF…..Mother I’d Like to F—


Comments are closed.